Wandering Heart

My poor sister has had to listen to me blab for the last month about how much I love Katy Perry's new song. Yes, Katy Perry. Our society, nay, mankind is performance driven.  Our own preferences and prejudices for an individual are formed based on their actions and behaviors .  We deem one another worthy of our trust, friendship, love based on their outward conduct . What if, despite your outward conduct, no matter what you did, what you said; even further with what you thought and what you felt, you were wholly accepted and loved unconditionally.  Well, you are.  And this is why I'm in love with Katy Perry's song 'Unconditionally'.  (Go ahead and play it along on YouTube while you read further on.) Oh, no did I get to close Oh, did I almost see What's really on the inside All your insecurities All the dirty laundry Never made me blink one time Unconditional, Unconditionally I will love you unconditionally There is no fear now Let go and just b...

Sometimes, I have conversations with myself and they are not always just in my head.  I usually can't fall asleep right away at night, my brain has to unwind (aka over analyze).  Typically, the soap slips out of my hands at least once during my shower and I really have no problem peeing in the shower (don't pretend like you don't) because pee is sterile (also, no one uses it but me).  I can't have hair on my neck when I fall asleep, it has to be pulled up.  I don't like eggnog, candy corn, or peeps.  Reheated meat, I usually find, has a funny taste.  My favorite season is summer, I don't like winter, but I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. Speaking of food, I've had intentions of writing on this topic for months and months and now it's finally happening!  I'm gonna build on details and then get to my main point so bear with me. Some of my favorite things to eat include mac and cheese, Nutella, donuts, cookies, brownies, pizza, and ice cream.  I...

I'm moving to Chicago in January!  And I'm very excited about it!  I'll be going to Moody Bible Institute to get a bachelor in TESOL (teaching English to speakers of other languages).  I thought I'd let you guys know how this came about... Is it OK to call you all 'guys' or is that offensive... Sometimes at work (with only women), I say, "You guys have a nice day."  I hope that's not offensive, I don't mean it to be.   Not in this particular situation but perhaps we should be more offensive with our lives. As in, the truth and what is right is often offensive to the world, therefore, should we not offend people but in a loving way?  Not in a prideful manner but in the way that two objects colliding in opposing directions will naturally cause friction.  For the World and what is Truth are usually opposite. That was a long tangent.  Back to Chicago and Moody.  It's quite a long story so for simplicity's sake I'm going to list ...

Don't worry everyone, I haven't gone hiatus again.  (I'm not even sure if I used hiatus correctly in that sentence.  Hopefully, I did.)  My mom has been here for the past week and a half so I've been spending quality time with her.  Currently, though, I'm at home by myself and I'm not really sure why.  I have no idea where they ('they' being my mom and sisters) have gone and I'm not sure why they are out so long.  In the meantime, I figured I'd write a little. I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but some of the songs I most enjoy right now are all played on the radio. (Which I tend to view as the 'cheap stuff'.)  I'm not as hipster as I think, I'm pretty mainstream after all, I suppose.  I started to write that I haven't seen too many notable movies recently but then I remembered I have seen one I have to mention.  It is called Memento.   What the heck?   I need to go back and watch that one or two more times to catch all...

I think it is unfortunate that our society is less written expressive and more instantaneous, fragmentation communicative.  There is a beautiful art to the written word that is seen in the classic literature of our society. I wish all spoke, wrote, and behaved (to some extent) in the ways of the days of Shakespeare, Jane Austin, or even F. Scott Fitzgerald. (I know, I have a very romanticized idea of what life was like in these times.) Words were the tool to self expression, communication, love, entertainment, life.  The days before the twitter, the youtube, the facebook, the tumblr, the internet, the phone, and even the camera. When what man wished to communicate he created with his very mind and hands; through the written word, musical note, the stroke of the paintbrush.... Much in our day and age is fake, unreal, and synthesized.  We all hide behind our computer screens. All the above mentioned mediums allow us to create a profile of ourselves that we wish the world ...

Every time I start to write a new post I have a mini heart attack but feel exhilaration all at the same time.  It's so overwhelming having it completely blank with a million different thoughts and ideas to write about.  At the same time it's a white canvas to color and paint in any way I choose. A couple weekends ago I went shopping for some new clothing after a co-worker pointed out that I wear the same outfits all the time, which is completely true.  There's an art to rotating through your clothes if you only own a limited number of things that are appropriate for work.  Especially if your office is freezing all the time and you have to wear winter clothes even in the summer just to stay warm.  I work in two different offices and had a system down of what to wear when and how in order to make my outfits "stretch" further. Unfortunately, I was caught doing this a couple times, when a gal would bounce between the two offices on the same days I did.  This ...

I freakin love coffee...too much, way too much!  It doesn't matter what kind, either.  Brew.  Espresso.  Latte.  Americano.  Macchiato.  Cappuccino.  Mocha.  Flavored.  Sugared.  Milked.  Any of it, all of it!  Just a little FYI a shot of espresso is basically very hot water ran through a high concentration of coffee grounds creating a very condensed, very strong coffee (except it's not coffee like brew, it's espresso).  Latte is Italian (I think) for milk.  So, milk (typically steamed) is added to the espresso.  A Cappuccino is a Latte but with less milk and more foam.  Switch out the milk for hot water and you have yourself an Americano.  Take a Latte, add chocolate = Mocha.  I think a Macchiato is like a Cappuccino, maybe stronger though, but I heard once that the proper way to make a Macchiato is to add milk first and then the espresso on top whereas in a Latte you would add the espresso f...

Apparently, I still have a blog.  Who knew? Let's keep it going!  (For now, well, today really) Being an adult sucks sometimes!  Making responsible choices, planning for the future, taking care of yourself and (what few) things you actually own.  It's kinda lame and boring.  I live in a house and realize how little I actually know about maintaining it.  The garage door breaks, now what?!  The shingles are supposed to be replaced...what's a shingle?  The trees need trimmed.  I wire cutter will work for that, right???  Most of the time, I just wish my dad lived here so he could fix all our home maintenance problems.  Well, maybe all my problems.  Guess it's good for me to figure it all out on my own though?  I guess.     Oh and what's this about changing the oil in your car every 3000 miles.... Also, I'm a horrible cook.  Well, maybe just a lazy one.  But, I do burn a lot of what I actually do make...

On a lighter note, I'd like to share some experiences we had while traveling Europe about a year ago.  As many of you may know, my parents and three youngest siblings moved to Manchester, England and lived there for about two years.  Melissa and I were able to go visit them early last year and spend some time visiting mainland Europe.  Our first stop was Paris, France, after taking the Eurostar under the English Channel from London to Paris. When traveling I love to plan out how were are getting from one place to the next, where we will stay, what we will see, and which days we will do what.  I decided to carry all that information with me in a blue folder in my backpack complete with maps, tickets, dates, and other important information.  Of course, I have all this information but don't want to appear as a tourist (which I fail at miserably), so I only ever pull it out when I desperately need it (which happens to be all the time). So, first thing after we ...

"I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment."     ~Hilaire Belloc Wandering is aimless.  Without an intended destination or end.  It's easy, requires no purposed thought, and no goal .   Traveling usually  has an intended destination to reach in mind.  It can be easy or difficult.  It is typically planned and directed towards a goal.   Some of you may well know that one of my favorite things to do is travel.  I love jumping in my car and taking off to a new city to see places I never have before!  (I would say the same of airplanes but they make me horribly sick.  Even the thought of them right now turns my stomach.)  I have been incredibly blessed to travel here at home and abroad.  The course this blog may take will, more than likely, be directly linked to the travelings and places I have be...

"Why write a blog?" That's the question I've been mulling over in my mind for weeks now.  To be honest, when it comes right down to it, it is because I want to.  But more than that, perhaps I can organize these so called thoughts into a progression of understandable events to bring clarity and definity.  I like the idea that this could become a public journal of sorts.  One where I can express ideas while at the same time allowing my friends and family to understand a part of my life, a part of me.  In no way am I meaning to replace a relationship, only use a means to expand or extend one. There may not be any logical progression to future posts simply reflections of the past, points of interest in the present, conceptions of the future.  Ideas, lies, realities, misconceptions, truths.  Ramblings, blubberings, absolutions, actualities, notions, ambiguities.   One might call this a disclaimer..."Read at your own risk"