Wandering Heart

There I stood with two who did not push or pry And I thought, "This feels just right." There I stood under the downpour of falling water And I felt free and full of energetic existence There I walked with Words of Truth being spoken And I was encouraged in my spirit There I spun  And I felt alive There I danced And I was unhindered There I laughed And I shared joy There I sat in front of a rainbow decorated waterfall And I wept from beauty while  receiving love from the Most Beautiful There I knelt before a crystallized patterned half-frozen lake And I could only worship the Majestic One There I sat surrounded by mountains of splendor w hen the road could not be traveled And I could only surrender to our Creator In that surrender was the years' disorienting thoughts And all my hopes and dreams, all my fears and failures In that kneeling was the acknowledgement of my finitude And the conceding of my perceived e...

Endings make me feel alive! Putting in my two weeks is one of my favorite things. Perhaps, I just haven't had the right job but I thrive off the thrill of ending them. Packing up all my life into a car and driving away is exhilarating!  Something new is on the horizon and I get to go and experience it! When the cold, icy, cloudy winters end and the blue, warm, sunny skies arrive my being can breathe and the earth lives again. Even simple things like finishing a class, a book, a paper, make me feel accomplished. These small chapters in my story bring me happiness, joy, a sense of completeness, warmth and make me feel extraordinarily alive! I feel it deep within my heart. But endings make me feel alive. Cutting ties at a job where the people have become a team and support each other is sad. Driving away seeing my nephew innocently waive good-bye through the rear-view mirror brings tears to my eyes and it hurts. Even the sunny, blue skies end and the cold winter comes as the...

A thousand reflections at night glisten off the towering glassy skyscrapers And I am once again enchanted by this twinkling city By all the hope and potential that lies within And even after the light has scattered this enamoring feeling lingers  From a distance the thousand splitting reflections lie unseen But the subtle light outlines the buildings against the black night The solitude of a city of millions lies within And in this silence is a solicitude that begins to emanate   Strange what light against a blackened sky can bring Even the faint glows even the striking beams The palatable prospect in the encompassing darkness  And the warm affection of lives in the dead of night  I am left with these genuine reflections deep within my being On an evening when hollowness should stand-out In a night when harsh shadows should bear-down And even when the soft dawning approaches these lights against the night enrapture me

It was a Friday and the weeks' thoughts were lost in my head. My mind was fuzzy from the 3:30 am call to wake up. The buzz in the air from the freedom of the weekend wasn't even enough to cut through the haziness I felt. I opened my mouth to express my thoughts but the fog choked out the words. So, I just stayed silent. When the silence built upon the silence a heaviness took over, one that began to choke out my heart. So, I just stayed numb. Have you ever tried moving through with fragmented splitting thoughts lost the minute they began and a numbing heart that begins to block out the feeling? Have you ever wondered what it means to be human in that state? The shell of you moves forward. It's not that it is not you Or that it is a fake you It's just the only part of you you're able to give. This only part then feels guilty for not being more Not being more alive Not being more connected Not being more to the lives around it Not expressing more de...