I Don't Even Know...

...and it's OK.
That's what I keep reminding myself.


Oddly, once again this year after March I've stopped writing.  Not sure if it's from the excitement and warmth of summer or the busyness it brings, and (maybe) both.  Anyways, I'm not even sure how to fill you in on the last five months.  Sheesh!  Has it really been that long?!  For now, I don't think I'm going to even attempt to. Partly because I'm not even sure what to make of it and partly because it would quite possibly take pages to try.  I can tell you where I am now, though.  Or at least what I know of where I am now...

Just to preface this, this comes from a very sensitive part of myself and I am probably writing for more my sake than yours and I apologize for that in advance.

So, I am back in Boise, and I've been here for nearly three weeks.  If I had it my way, I would not be here right now.  The 'why' is probably not important.  At least for now it is not.  I don't understand though, after just one semester at Moody and in Chicago, why I am brought back here.  I loved it there!  I really did. Maybe, I will get to go back.  Maybe, I'm not meant to.  That is probably neither here nor there either, though.  What it has forced me to do however, is trust that God truly knows what is best and is doing what is best, that His ways are higher than mine, that I plan my way but he determines my steps.  It's hard setting aside my plans though, especially when I rarely have any I finally decide on...

If you would like to know in my everyday life what I'm up to, I'm nannying for a family.  One little boy who's almost five and his younger three year old sister...such cuties!  I'm also, working part time at Starbucks.  Lots of free coffee!!! What more could one ask for?!  In nearly five years, my whole family is all in one spot. Naturally, that lends itself to spending A LOT of time with them!   Time of which I am truly grateful for and love!  (By the way, not that I'm biased, but my little nephew is the CUTEST kid on the planet, seriously!)

For now that's really all I know.  In some ways, 'adjusting' to being back here has been harder than leaving.  I suppose it's because it has required (and still requires) laying down of my pride and plans, my stubbornness and self.  And being forced to rely on God, His plans, His timing...(guess that's not such a bad thing after all).

 

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