New Year, New Me

Really, new, a new you, a new me just because the calendar went up one number because the seconds keep steadily ticking by.  I'm not buying it...

When that clock changed, I'm not sure about you but I know nothing about me was different.  I know, I know, I'm being a little cynical here (or just realistic).  The phrase comes from people deciding to make better life choices, and I'm all for that, I even have my own.  But let's not fool ourselves, we're still the same people we were last year.  We're not magically going to be better, so in light of that what will we decide to do (especially if we wish to accomplish those resolutions)?  

I'm sat here in my apartment dimly lit by sparkling lights while outside the first snow (I've experienced) of this year in Chicago falls.  Lana Del Rey is softly playing to me in the background. The new semester and beginning of my senior year is ahead of me.  Many of my friends are starting to fill the once empty rooms of the campus.  Quite a rare, beautiful moment.  Underneath this lies the hope of what the next few month could hold but the discouragement of how much hecticness and exhaustion they are about to unfold.  And the sadness of yet again, saying good bye to my family and friends back home.  

Life is beginning to feel like this endless cycle of hellos, attempts to be known (or re-known), and good byes.  A weaving in and out of peoples lives.  It's easy in all this to be disheartened.  But what I want to determine to do is pour into these lives, even if for a small time, to be what they need.  But I rather suck at this.

As often happens in these posts, it's starting to take on a rather somber note and I'd prefer not leave it there.  I can't really think how to lighten the tone, though.  So, on this gradually duskening day that appears dreary yet dazzling let's remember that the year will hold both.  In the wise words of Gandalf "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." (-J.R.R Tolkien)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Stained Glass

"Our stained glass means nothing without light."   It's a lyric by Sleeping at Last from the song "Sight" that has been running through my mind over and over again for weeks now.   It is a powerful image.   I have always been mesmerized by stained glass windows.  I remember sitting in my grandparents' Lutheran church as a child contemplating the scenes they depicted of Christ.  But at night without the light, they lose their spell.   In darkness, they become nothing.    In this advent season, remember the Christ who came as light of the world.  Remember our lives are nothing without this Light.  Soak in the beauty of these stained glass windows  as the light beams through.  May our lives be just as beautiful as we allow the Light to shine within and through us. 
Read more

Stationary

I have the strong desire to write a new post.  I'm not sure why.  I've been uninterested in doing so for over a year now.  But tonight with only one hand, I'm feeling enough of an urge to lead me to plunk at the individual letters on the keyboard at a rate half of what I'm used to in order to create this.  While doing so, I've opened Pandora.  I've not listened to music on Pandora for over two years now.  Upon opening, I looked through the 20+ stations I'd created in the span of six or seven years and I recalled the various times in my life.  The times that lead me to create these stations because the music somehow reflected an emotion I felt or an experience I had or I simply delighted in the particular style of organization in the sounds.  I have found these small paths that I'd created years before and I allowed myself to travel down some of them, to remember these times in my life.  Music is powerful and I can tell this is going to be a ...
Read more

Signs

My mom and youngest sister came to visit me in Chicago just over a week ago.  Being from Idaho, we don't typically walk to places there.  It's too far- people (apparently) like their wide open space.  While out and about, I tried to give them landmarks they could set their eyes on so they would know how far we had left to go. My sister and I set out to pick up our Thai take-out.  As we came to an intersection, I told her the place was just past Pizza Hut.  Confused, she searched around for the Pizza Hut.  I had to tell her it was the building literally across the intersection, right in front of us.  As we laughed about how obvious it was, she told me she had been looking for the sign and not the actual building.  And I made a comment about how that could be used for a good analogy... Sometimes we look for the signs all around when the landmark is right in front of us. or even Sometimes we're searching for the sign pointing to the sight show...
Read more